I just needed to talk to him today. Even if it was bad and disruptive, I needed him today. I couldn’t help myself.

I wish things were different sometimes.

I think about how he rescued the letter from Housing. How he said he found there on a desk. And when he put it in hands, I remember staring at it, feeling relief, and holding it to my chest… as he explained to me that he had found it.

How did it stray so far from it’s intended course of me?

I can’t help but wonder that the reason he ran was because he felt threatened by the boy in the letter.

And was he really falling for me?

And was he so daft that he couldn’t see that I was falling for him. And that the boy in the letter should have felt threatened by him.