I miss him! Months since my last post and my tune is still the same.

I always miss him. He was my best friend. He was my good feeling. He made everything better.

I texted him today. Just a hi. Nothing crazy. Not that I missed him. Or that I was thinking about him. Just a hi.

Do I expect a response? Not really. It would be nice.

I hate not having him in my world. It’s like this void that I try to ignore all the time.

But sometimes…. something catches… the thought of his amazing smile… and it’s like everything around me stops. And I have to stop. Catch myself.

I wonder if he misses me where ever he is. If he thought about me. If there are times where he experiences the same catch in his world. If he’s standing at the edge of a rooftop bar in Venice Beach, looks out at the ocean, and wonders about me too.

I loved him. I know that. Why didn’t I just tell him that?

I miss him all the time. So occassionally I text him. Because I can’t give up. He means way too much.

I have way too many “he”‘s and “him”‘s in my posts. But here’s the deal. This one here in this one. The he in Cali. He is the only he that really matters.

The rest are past that I sometimes need to come here and talk about to air out hurt.

The guy in Cali is the only one who matters to me. If only he knew…